英語(yǔ)美文：母親的心情記錄

　　I had just returned from an income tax audit with the Internal Revenue Service, which everyone agrees is as pleasant as a bad session in the dentist's chair. The audit had gone well, but I was relieved it was over. To celebrate I bought an ice cream cone and sat in my car to read a letter from my eldest daughter Linda, a college freshman. "Dear Mom," the letter began, "I know you will be shocked to learn that you are going to be a grandmother." She was 20 years old and unmarried. My initial response was, "This can't be happening! I'm a middle-aged jobless divorcee and I'm not going to raise any more kids!" I had a six- and a twelve-year-old at home. Raising children alone is not easy, especially on a limited income. However, after I reflected on how my daughter must be feeling, I telephoned her and suggested that she complete her semester and then come home. We would figure out what to do.

　　The parents of the boy, a freshman engineering student, were also calm, but their primary objective seemed to be to make sure that whatever happened did not compro-mise their son's future. A marriage was never really considered; they were in favor of adoption. At least medi-cal bills were not a major concern; though I had been laid off, my insurance continued in force at a small cost, and it would cover my daughter's medical bills, likely to amount to several thousand dollars, albeit not those of the child.

　　So at the end of the semester my daughter came home. She quickly ruled out abortion on religious grounds. The idea of adoption was appealing, but we were somewhat put off by the totality of the rupture between birth mother and child imposed by the state welfare department. They chose the new family, and the fate of the child would be utterly unknown to us. One day Linda commented that she wished we could find an adoptive family in a distant location who were well educated, already had one child (so that the baby would not be an only child), loved animals, were of her religion, well off financially, with a nice home; and in which the mother was a stay-at-home mom. Two days later my brother in Arkansas, an attorney, phoned to report that his wife knew someone with a friend whose baby girl had died unexpectedly the year before. The grieving mother was unable to have any more children. The family wanted very much to adopt: would we be interested in talking to them about adoption? We received a long letter describing the family in great detail. Their profile corresponded point for point to our wish list for an adoptive family. It was truly uncanny. Linda and I both knew instantly that here was our solution.

　　The baby was a blond blue-eyed boy weighing 3.5 kilos. We held him twice and decided we had better not be with him any more lest we change our minds. Our lawyer presented the proper legal papers and physically removed the baby from the hospital before turning him over to his new parents. The adoptive family sent Linda a big bouquet of flowers with a card "from your Arkansas family". Two weeks later the adoptive father phoned to tell me that he had that day put the first funds in the bank for the baby's college education. My daughter returned to university to get her degree, met her "Mr Right", married and had four more children.

　　Some 22 years later I was in Arkansas visiting my lawyer brother before returning to China to teach for another year. My sister-in-law telephoned the adoptive family and asked if they were interested in meeting me. The next day I received an excited phone call from that "baby": Could he come over for a visit?

　　When Bryan and his adoptive mother arrived the next day, we spent two hours sharing photos and stories and exchanging e-mail addresses. His parents had always made it clear to him that he was adopted; indeed, how else to explain pale skin, flaxen hair and blue eyes in a family of dark-haired olive-skinned descendants of southern Italians?

　　Bryan had become an extraordinary young man.He was an Eagle Scout at the age of 13, Arkansas's youngest ever. (The Boy Scouts are a character-building organization, and few boys rise to the top level; to become an Eagle Scout is like receiving a grand testimonial to one's virtue and versatility.) He had been a football star in high school. After attending Brigham Young University for one year, he had served a two-year stint as a representative of his church in South Korea. Now he was preparing to return to university. I told his mother that I believed we had made the right decision 22 years earlier; the next day she called to say how much the comment meant to her.

　　As it happened, Linda's eldest daughter would also be a sophomore at BYU that fall, and her next eldest daughter would be at the branch campus in Idaho. I told him that his half-siblings were unaware of his existence; Linda subsequently decided to tell her children about Bryan. They were surprised and curious to find out what their new brother was like. The two girls were quick to set up a rendezvous with their tall, fair-haired, blue-eyed half-brother on the BYU campus in Utah, but birth mother and son have yet to meet.

　　母親的心情記錄：女兒未婚懷孕以后

　　那天，我剛剛從稅務(wù)局辦完了個(gè)人所得稅的審計(jì)，那地方誰(shuí)都認(rèn)為就像是在牙科醫(yī)生的椅子上那么難熬。審計(jì)進(jìn)行得挺順利，而我總算松了一口氣。為了慶賀我便買(mǎi)了一支冰淇淋坐到車(chē)?yán)�，開(kāi)始讀大女兒琳達(dá)寄來(lái)的信，她當(dāng)時(shí)是大一的學(xué)生。“親愛(ài)的媽媽?zhuān)?rdquo;信是這樣開(kāi)頭的，“我知道，當(dāng)你獲知自己要成為外祖母時(shí)一定會(huì)非常吃驚。”琳達(dá)20歲，還沒(méi)有結(jié)婚。我的第一反應(yīng)就是：“這不行！我自己是一個(gè)沒(méi)有工作的離了婚的中年婦女，我再也不想多撫養(yǎng)孩子了！”家里還有一個(gè)6歲和12歲的孩子，我一人撫養(yǎng)孩子可是不容易，特別是只靠那點(diǎn)兒有限的收入。然而，在我仔細(xì)考慮了女兒當(dāng)前的感受之后，我給她打了電話(huà)，建議她上完這學(xué)期的課之后回家，我們會(huì)想出解決問(wèn)題的辦法。

　　那個(gè)男孩是工程系大一的學(xué)生，他的父母也十分冷靜，但他們的基本想法似乎是不管事情怎樣，都要確保不能影響他們兒子的前途。結(jié)婚從未被他們認(rèn)真考慮過(guò)，他們想讓我女兒做流產(chǎn)。至少醫(yī)療費(fèi)不是大問(wèn)題；雖說(shuō)我下崗了，但我的醫(yī)療保險(xiǎn)還有效，只需交很少的保險(xiǎn)費(fèi)，這項(xiàng)保險(xiǎn)也包括我女兒的醫(yī)藥費(fèi)，總數(shù)約幾千美元，但不包括嬰兒所需的費(fèi)用。

　　到了期末，女兒回來(lái)了。出于宗教上的原因，她很快就排除了做流產(chǎn)的選擇。找人領(lǐng)養(yǎng)是個(gè)值得考慮的主意。但是想到我們州的福利機(jī)構(gòu)辦理的領(lǐng)養(yǎng)使孩子與生身母親之間處于徹底隔絕的狀態(tài)，我們又不太愿意這樣做。福利機(jī)構(gòu)會(huì)為孩子選擇一個(gè)新的家庭，而孩子的命運(yùn)對(duì)我們來(lái)說(shuō)將一無(wú)所知。一天，琳達(dá)說(shuō)道，她希望我們能在離家比較遠(yuǎn)的地方找一個(gè)領(lǐng)養(yǎng)孩子的家庭：這個(gè)家庭要受過(guò)良好的教育，已經(jīng)有了一個(gè)孩子(這樣?jì)雰壕筒粫?huì)是家中孤獨(dú)的獨(dú)生子)，而且喜愛(ài)動(dòng)物，與自己有同樣的宗教信仰，經(jīng)濟(jì)上寬裕，有一個(gè)溫馨的家庭，在這個(gè)家里母親不外出工作。兩天后，我的在阿肯色州當(dāng)律師的哥哥打來(lái)電話(huà)，說(shuō)他妻子認(rèn)識(shí)的一個(gè)人的朋友，頭年生下的女?huà)氤鋈艘饬系刎舱哿�，而悲傷的母親不能再生孩子，這個(gè)家庭特別想領(lǐng)養(yǎng)一個(gè)孩子--他問(wèn)我們是否有意和這家談?wù)勵(lì)I(lǐng)養(yǎng)的事？我們收到了一封長(zhǎng)信，信中詳細(xì)介紹了這個(gè)家庭，他們的情況與我們所希望的領(lǐng)養(yǎng)家庭哪兒哪兒都合適。這可真是不可思議。琳達(dá)和我立刻就意識(shí)到這是我們尋求的解決辦法。

　　生下的嬰兒是個(gè)金發(fā)碧眼的男孩，重3.5公斤，我們抱了他兩次，之后決定最好還是不見(jiàn)他，免得我們會(huì)改變讓人領(lǐng)養(yǎng)他的決定。我們的律師提供了正當(dāng)?shù)姆�律文��，在把嬰兒交給他的新父母之前把孩子從醫(yī)院接了出去。領(lǐng)養(yǎng)家庭給琳達(dá)送來(lái)了一大束鮮花，上面有一個(gè)卡片寫(xiě)著“這束鮮花是你在阿肯色州的家送給你的”。兩周后，領(lǐng)養(yǎng)父親打來(lái)電話(huà)，告訴我他已在那天往銀行里存入了為孩子上大學(xué)的第一筆錢(qián)。我女兒則重新回到大學(xué)完成她的學(xué)位，并且遇到了適合做她丈夫的人，兩人結(jié)了婚有了四個(gè)孩子。

　　22年之后，在回中國(guó)準(zhǔn)備繼續(xù)任教一年之前，我去阿肯色州看當(dāng)律師的哥哥。我嫂子給那個(gè)領(lǐng)養(yǎng)家庭打了電話(huà)，問(wèn)他們想不想見(jiàn)見(jiàn)我。第二天，我收到興奮的“嬰兒”給我打來(lái)的電話(huà)--他問(wèn)能否過(guò)來(lái)拜訪我？

　　第二天當(dāng)布萊恩和他的養(yǎng)母到來(lái)的時(shí)候，我們用了兩個(gè)多小時(shí)一起看照片，講往事，并交換了電子郵件地址。他的父母老早就告訴他是個(gè)領(lǐng)養(yǎng)的孩子，是啊，要不然怎么解釋一個(gè)黑頭發(fā)、棕色皮膚的南部意大利人后裔的家庭會(huì)有一個(gè)白皮膚、黃頭發(fā)、藍(lán)眼睛的孩子呢？

　　布萊恩已經(jīng)長(zhǎng)成了一個(gè)杰出青年，他在13歲就是老鷹童子軍的成員，是阿肯色州最年輕的(童子軍是塑造品德的組織，極個(gè)別的孩子能升到該組織的最高級(jí)，成為老鷹童子軍成員就相當(dāng)于在道德與多才多藝方面獲得了極高的獎(jiǎng)勵(lì))。他在中學(xué)時(shí)是校足球明星，在上了楊百翰大學(xué)一年后，他作為他所在教會(huì)的代表到韓國(guó)服務(wù)了兩年，現(xiàn)在正準(zhǔn)備回到學(xué)校繼續(xù)學(xué)習(xí)。我告訴他的養(yǎng)母，我相信22年前我們做出了正確決定，第二天她給我打電話(huà)，說(shuō)這句話(huà)對(duì)她來(lái)說(shuō)太重要了。

　　而此時(shí)，琳達(dá)的大女兒在秋季也將成為楊百翰大學(xué)的新生，二女兒將上楊百翰大學(xué)在愛(ài)達(dá)荷州的分校。我告訴布萊恩，他的有一半血統(tǒng)的妹妹們還不知道他的存在呢。琳達(dá)于是決定告訴孩子們關(guān)于布萊恩的事。孩子們很是吃驚，也很好奇，想知道她們的新哥哥是什么樣的人。兩個(gè)女孩很快就和金發(fā)碧眼的高個(gè)子哥哥在猶他州的楊百翰大學(xué)定了見(jiàn)面的日子，但生母與兒子至今還沒(méi)相見(jiàn)。